Whoa, here's another diary entry from December 22! That must have been the busiest day of my life! Then again, most people do more before noon than I do all day. But eat shit, mothers, cause I have more dreams after 9:30 in the morning than all of y'alls combined! Last night I dreamed a Saturday morning-style commercial for Sesame Street plush toys that gave birth. Like as in Grover had a vagina and you could squeeze him and a litle Grover would come out. I guess I was pretty confused during the night, because one character in the commercial was Grimmace from McDonalds. He was weird. See, his lack of genetalia made it necessary for him to burp his babies out of his mouth, like in that Flannery O'Conner story. It was hilarious! Seriously, he'd like burp, and as he did, little soft pyramid-shaped purple things with googly eyes would plop out. He was the last guy they showed in the commercial because he was the only one that was different. It was one of those "And now featuring Grimmace, whose features are radically different than the rest of our toys" kind of things. But back to the 22nd...

That night Tay and the fam hit a bar where they played tons of Morrissey and Big Star’s “September Girls.” That and the whiskey made a beer run on the way home absolutely necessary, so Tay and P-Jiddy ran into a convenience store while the train was stopped and accidentally frightened a large black man carrying chips. “Just don’t hurt me!” he cried, all wide-eyed and afraid. “Shit, you sneaked up on me, you’re on a mission. You move like you ain’t got footsteps.” I laughed and he asked me for money to pay for his chips.