Come on, brothers. Everybody knows that Taytyme's pet peeves are many and not mild. Take other people trying to light my cigarette. It’s not a team sport, man. You and I are too many cooks for this kitchen. My smoke's starting to look like one of those cigars that blows up in the face of a cartoon, because the tip of it was the last bit to actually touch the flame. My crossed eyes and jutted jaw are like a Neanderthal's, and girls who thought I looked good a minute ago are now acutely aware that I'm no kind of a smooth operator. Just hand me your lighter! Three times out of five I won’t put it away in my own pocket.

And Moses damn Malone, what about those blogs that just show you what a dude looked at on the internet today? You know, the whole category of “the internet, as I see it” blogs. The "hey man, look at this" variety. Put that baloney in an email to your friends. I already have the internet, and I sure as shit don't need you to tell me what's on it. It's like when people tell me that I HAVE to hear some band, see some movie, or go to some restaurant. I punch those fuckers in the tits and say, “Nobody tells me what to do.”

That being said, look what popped up the other night when Taytyme came home dronked up and googled "gayest band in the world."