Fambly

Dambit, doods! How many tymes does a fella have to tell the world that he is the real-deal daddy of Anna Nicole Smith’s (god rest those titties) little love-baby? I’m about had it with these posers trying to act like their swimmers hit that bitch in the babypods any better than mine did. She told me herself that she was pretty sure the kid was mine and I was all, “Nooooo, thanks. You know I only impregnate girls who dig abortion, so this shit ain’t about me.” I knew I shoulda done her Cheatham county style, but my pill buzz led me off course and right into her danger tunnel.

Anyway, I faxed her mom to keep her hands off and I’m heading down to the Bahamas this weekend to claim what’s rightly mine. Any of y’all want to buy a baby?