Where’ve I been and what’ve I been up to? What the hell time is it, question-thirty? All you need to know is that I’m back in action, I smell like beer, lady parts, and a couple pairs of feet, and that I finally scored that big interview with Brian Dunkleman, the ONE TRUE host of American Idol. Unfortunately, it turns out that he’s barely as interesting as ASCAP night at the Basement, so I had to sell the shit to Nashville Cream for a cool six of Tecate. I know, right? I got such a buzz on that I decided to add some more pictures to the internet.


Here’s one of the chicks from the Clutters, all bragging about how some famous person thinks they’re really “garagey.” She said that after they were (mistakenly included) in an issue of Rolling Stone (like on the back page, probably) Chicken Ranch gave everybody in the band these special credit cards that make beer free on the east side. Check this out: I saw that bitch pay a dude to go buy one of those novelty cigarette lighters for the express purpose that she would then be able to set money on fire to light her smokes. Some people!