Wax Fang rules!

OK, I was on Wikipedia the other day and found out there was no entry for Wax Fang. Well there sure is now!

Wax Fang is a rock trio from Louisville, Kentucky, a commonwealth in the United States whose bourbon whisky and expansive underground systems of caves keep it from being known only for methamphetamine and horse turds.

Not much is known about Wax Fang’s recorded output, but photos posted on the web prove their presence at a recording session at Ardent Studios in Memphis, Tennessee. The band’s live performances are characterized by visually stunning cymbal playing and the use of guitar effects such as distortion and delay. Stylistically, Wax Fang lies somewhere between two theremins. At a 2007 show in Nashville, TN, Wax Fang made Mr. Grieves of seminal garage band The Clutters happy that he had gotten a haircut. Considering their sound, many listeners may find it surprising that the band cites influences as disparate as Neil Diamond and Brian Eno. In reality, one of their songs sounds kind of like Queen, but the rest of them are even worse.

Band History

The unique history of Wax Fang has been the subject of much debate among fans and quantum scientists. Though different theories abound, it is difficult to pinpoint exactly when Wax Fang formed because the members of the group originally met and began playing together in a time machine.

Before Wax Fang

The day before teaming up with Wax Fang in what will for purposes of this article be referred to as “2006 subcurrent B,” Kevin Ratterman (b. 1965) was playing drums in the 1980s under-the-radar heavy metal powerhouse Mess Hall, perhaps best remembered for their traditional show opener, “(Let’s All Head to the) Mess Hall (Show).” Ratterman was regarded by colleagues in the Los Angeles, Illinois heavy metal scene as something of an untrustworthy braggart, having claimed for years that the magazine Modern Drummer was named after him.

Bassist Jake Heustis (real name Bizzy McThrusstin, b. 1970) founded the band Groinpull in 1993 after moving to Seattle from Tumbleweed, Oklahoma. Groinpull became an immediate fixture of the Seattle grunge scene, and could regularly be seen turning tricks for L7 and moving Gruntruck’s equipment. Bizzy changed his name after finding out in 2006 subcurrent B that people hadn’t had names like that since 1988.

Singer/guitarist Scott Carney has perhaps the most intriguing back story of the group, having burst spontaneously into existence at the precise moment of John Davis’s religious awakening in 2003. This phenomenon is held to be the single greatest unexplained mystery in rock music, with the exception of mainstream music critics’ continuing admiration for the music of Nirvana.

Wax Fang Today

According to the Jack Daniels Tennessee Sour Mash Whisky Co., Wax Fang currently represents the very best of today’s indie (rock) music. Rumors have been circulated that the band is shopping a finished album called “Wax and Wayne” to several major American record labels. If these efforts are successful, it stands to reason that the Jack Daniels Co. will have to reword their characterization of the band.

Wax Fang currently plays in Nashville, Tennessee once every month to thunderous applause from the music writers of the local alternative weekly paper. They plan to spend the summer of 2007 supporting My Morning Jacket on a tour of the United States.