So I Saw This Stinky Fingers Tribute Band

Band etiquette is a huge point of contention! Romans, is my understanding of rock show mores correct in that its bad form to play for more than forty minutes when you're not the final band of a three-band bill? (Classier bands don't go over a half-hour, right?) Wait, wait! Let me explain why, just to make sure we're all on the same page. I quote from the Taytyme Big Book of Rock Music for Rockers: eh-hem. "Starting really late and playing too long makes you a fucking dickhead, asshole. It forces the last band go on so late that all the people who saw your band have left after tiring of being in a shitty club all night.

Is it Ego that makes bands ignore the well-being of other bands? No, surely not! Surely such bands just haven't timed their songs. That's it. Well, look. I have a few tips for Stinky Fingers. I've seen them play a lot and have come to the conclusion that they need a man on the outside. Gentlemen, I am that man.

Stinky Fingers believes that each of their songs is only two minutes long. They are dead wrong about this, but it explains why they think they can play fifteen songs all at the same show. Guys, you can probably get away with eight or nine if you start on time and don't jam. Now if you want to play fifteen songs, you will need to play them very fast and probably organize a medley or two. Perhaps compose some sort of quodlibet out of several of your less-inspired tunes; you know, the whole "two birds with one stone" thing. Your only other option is to form a second band called Stinky Fingers Jr. and to book shows for both of your bands to play together. Let me know how it goes! I'll probably be at the Goldrush when it goes down.