I'm guessing you probably remember that tyme I got kicked out of Mercy Lounge for walking up to the the owner, pointing my finger in his face, and saying, "YOU'RE fucking CRAZY." I'd just overheard him talking some shit about how Van Halen had a couple of good songs with Sammy Hagar. Fortunately, I was saved from life banishment at the last minute by a mutual acquaintance. The owner guy was like, "What the fuck's your problem?" and I was like, "you're the one with the problem." He said, "You don't like Van Halen?" and I said, "Man, they broke up in 1984 when Eddie Van Halen died of alcoholism." He bought me a shot. He did not know that Eddie was deceased. "Yeah, man," I continued. "When Eddie died and Dave went solo, Alex and Mike built the Eddie Van Halen robot and pulled the wool over every-damn-body's eyes. It was crazy, man. They built it so right with DNA and everything that it even got toungue cancer just like Eddie would have if he'd lived." The guy was like, "Fuck, man." Then he said, "What about his kid, then?" I shook my head. "Exactly. That was the one flaw in the Eddie robot, and that's how everybody knows about it. Do you seriously think that the real Eddie would name his kid Wolfgang?" The guy was blown away. He had to just sort of stare into the distance while he thought this through, which gave our acquaintance a chance to chime in. "So what's up with that kid, man? He's gotta be gettin' of age and stuff by now." "Yeah dude!" I agreed. "He's in the fucking Strokes!"